Love, Music & me

This is not a stupid article or something, will I guess this is not an article at all, It’s just something I’m thinking about.
Well how do I start? Ya, In my entire life I fell in love for 2 times, which were (if I could say) an impossible relation, for me every perfect girl (something like soul mate, but I don’t believe in soul mates) has to be an older girl, who has something makes it impossible for us to have a happy ending.
My first was with a girl who was 3 months older (not a big deal), but we were form different planets, like that I’m from Pluto, and she’s from Mercury, which should have end up (and it did) in a very little time, my second (My soul mate) we had everything in common, but she was 3 years older, and we couldn’t get over it so it didn’t last, and there was almost a 3rd, which I cut my mind off cause it (as i think) an impossible one, i guess shes older, and also have another religion (this thing just get my nerves off, the religion thing, that says no happy ending).

What I was getting to say is that all of this happened while music was in my way, I remember every time I fell to love I listened to too much Jazz(as usual), and also to Julia Botros, Bryan Adams, Bonjovi (which I refer to them as my old friends).

What I was thinking about yesterday, is why do I love Jazz that much, well of course because I love there music, the way the notes come, the freedom it gives, but after a deep thought there was something else more important, it is because it gives me something I really need, I usually don’t have, and if i have it, it gives me a lot more, it gives me love, Jazz so full of love, I feel jazz like a delicious wine, when you put a little in your mouth, you just want it to remain there cause it tastes so good you don’t want it to go to your stomach, but you also want all of your veins full of, so you swallow it, and take another, and that’s love.

I feel that music hasn’t left something of your life that didn’t get into it, but when it comes to love Jazz is the Master, I remember when my first relationship was ended I heard a track called After the Rain, It was the first time I hear that track and really feel it, I just couldn’t stop crying, and like that a lot.

For me now I’m alone, desperate, but I have Jazz with me.

Thanks for reaching here

A definition for War

The word war had always had a definition for me, I just want to say it here.
War is when two people (usually soldiers) try to kill each other, not because they disgrace each other, or even hate each other, but because of other two people (usually leaders) setting on fancy chairs, having fancy dinners, living a fancy life have a misunderstanding between them.
I Just hope that all the people who fights in these wars really understood this definition.

The Open Window

Yesterday, I was so sick that I even couldn’t get out of my bed, I remember that the weather was so cold, I also remember that every time I woke up; I see this window that is slightly opened; and every time, I just want to go and close it, I really want that because the weather was so cold, and I felt that it (in some way) is responsible about me feeling that. In the end I just think (imagine) that I got off my bed and closed that stupid window. And when I wake up again, I see that the stupid window is still open; the first thing I think about is didn’t I close that window.

In the end when I physically closed that window, I realized at that moment that the only thing I badly wanted all day is to close that window, and I also realized that if someone wanted something so much, he would imagine that his wish came true, but it’s only a matter of time until he wakes up.

Circle of Trust

From a lot of time I believed that every human being has some kind of a circle (or maybe a sphere) around him that separates him from other humans. This circle (or sphere) starts to shrink with another human as long as his relation with that person becomes friendlier.
So if you can notice yourself when you are introduced to other people, at first you try to keen the maximum space between you and him, as your relation gets stronger with him, the physical distance between you and him just shrinks. If anybody tries to break the borders of this circle, you just get nervous, so if you had ever noticed people in the elevator, as the space is so little, everybody just acts weird, like you see somebody looking at his watch, another just looking at the ceiling … .
The other day I was introduced to someone, I don’t know about his mentality, but every time he talks to me he gets (physically) closer, I just try to get away, and a long loop of this just starts to happen, after a little while I was very annoyed so I told him that his breath is killing me (it’s just to let him keep some space). In the end of the day I apologized for what happened and explained to him everything, for some reason I don’t understand I felt that he was more offended by what I say more than when I told him that breath thing. Can anybody explain?

Magnolia

What a movie …

I was looking for that movie for a long time, but I just couldn’t find it, Until yesterday I had the chance to see it as it was broadcasted on the TV and it really dazzled me, If you haven’t see this movie I hope you go and look for it first then come to continue here, as I don’t want to ruin the story of the movie for you.

At first what is magnolia?

Magnolia is a magnificent shrub with exquisite heavily perfumed flowers, considered to symbolize femininity and beauty.

The movie is about one day in a lot of peoples lives, A man who is dying in cancer, his wife who finally learned to love him, his nurse who really tried to help him really hard, and a son of him who considers him dead, a show man (his show is something like What do kids think? I guess) who is also in the beginning of his end, with a wife who he had cheated on her, and a daughter that really hates him (I just couldn’t catch the reason, if you did please tell me) who is also a Coke-addicted, a genius boy who is participating in the show, also his father who wants him to win, an ex-genius boy, who has made a record in that show, who also has lost all what he got in his life. A cop who is divorced and feeling lonely who in that day meets the daughter of that show man and falls in love with her, and also a mysterious boy who just meets with the cop, and the wife who is rapping a song, claiming that it’s telling the truth, and also giving the answer to who is the killer.

There was no center story in this movie, but a couple of threaded stories going on who in some way interacts with each other, going from one detail to another, but in my point of view almost all of them were going to a change point that day, the wife wanted learned to love her husband finally, and her conscious is torturing her for cheating on him, her husband admits his faults toward lily which is the mother of his kid, who named himself in another name (he was Jack but everybody knew him as Frank), a reporter shocks this Frank with the real story of his life, This show man find out that he has cancer, and tries to fix things up with his daughter, and for falls in the middle of his show, the genius boy at last refuses that his father is not treating him right, he also refuses to go on stage for the one-on-one competition, so his team losses, he refuses to be a joke for the audience, the ex-genius boy who lose his job, who discovers that he is only spending money on things he doesn’t need, who just says that he just knew useless information, none of this information helped him with his life (I guess he was also gay, I don’t know), … etc.

There are some little things that happened in the movie I really couldn’t fully understand.

The Frogs rain I know it means that strange things could happen, but is that it all, why frogs, what do they symbolize.

This mysterious kid, who is he? And what was he actually talking about? I couldn’t get it really.

What does the dog eating morphine meant, the only thing it mad that it died in the end with the dying man, does it mean anything else.

If you know please tell me.

I really want to see this movie again …