Category Archives: Asylum Archives

Love, Music & me

This is not a stupid article or something, will I guess this is not an article at all, It’s just something I’m thinking about.
Well how do I start? Ya, In my entire life I fell in love for 2 times, which were (if I could say) an impossible relation, for me every perfect girl (something like soul mate, but I don’t believe in soul mates) has to be an older girl, who has something makes it impossible for us to have a happy ending.
My first was with a girl who was 3 months older (not a big deal), but we were form different planets, like that I’m from Pluto, and she’s from Mercury, which should have end up (and it did) in a very little time, my second (My soul mate) we had everything in common, but she was 3 years older, and we couldn’t get over it so it didn’t last, and there was almost a 3rd, which I cut my mind off cause it (as i think) an impossible one, i guess shes older, and also have another religion (this thing just get my nerves off, the religion thing, that says no happy ending).

What I was getting to say is that all of this happened while music was in my way, I remember every time I fell to love I listened to too much Jazz(as usual), and also to Julia Botros, Bryan Adams, Bonjovi (which I refer to them as my old friends).

What I was thinking about yesterday, is why do I love Jazz that much, well of course because I love there music, the way the notes come, the freedom it gives, but after a deep thought there was something else more important, it is because it gives me something I really need, I usually don’t have, and if i have it, it gives me a lot more, it gives me love, Jazz so full of love, I feel jazz like a delicious wine, when you put a little in your mouth, you just want it to remain there cause it tastes so good you don’t want it to go to your stomach, but you also want all of your veins full of, so you swallow it, and take another, and that’s love.

I feel that music hasn’t left something of your life that didn’t get into it, but when it comes to love Jazz is the Master, I remember when my first relationship was ended I heard a track called After the Rain, It was the first time I hear that track and really feel it, I just couldn’t stop crying, and like that a lot.

For me now I’m alone, desperate, but I have Jazz with me.

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Getting Sick

I really hate to get sick, but what I hate more than that is to take medicine or see a doctor, I really prefer to remain sick than that, so I never took a sick leave cause I never had a proof that I’ve been sick, which were my annual leaves come in handy, I really wish I could get rid of that habit. 🙂

A definition for War

The word war had always had a definition for me, I just want to say it here.
War is when two people (usually soldiers) try to kill each other, not because they disgrace each other, or even hate each other, but because of other two people (usually leaders) setting on fancy chairs, having fancy dinners, living a fancy life have a misunderstanding between them.
I Just hope that all the people who fights in these wars really understood this definition.

The Open Window

Yesterday, I was so sick that I even couldn’t get out of my bed, I remember that the weather was so cold, I also remember that every time I woke up; I see this window that is slightly opened; and every time, I just want to go and close it, I really want that because the weather was so cold, and I felt that it (in some way) is responsible about me feeling that. In the end I just think (imagine) that I got off my bed and closed that stupid window. And when I wake up again, I see that the stupid window is still open; the first thing I think about is didn’t I close that window.

In the end when I physically closed that window, I realized at that moment that the only thing I badly wanted all day is to close that window, and I also realized that if someone wanted something so much, he would imagine that his wish came true, but it’s only a matter of time until he wakes up.

Circle of Trust

From a lot of time I believed that every human being has some kind of a circle (or maybe a sphere) around him that separates him from other humans. This circle (or sphere) starts to shrink with another human as long as his relation with that person becomes friendlier.
So if you can notice yourself when you are introduced to other people, at first you try to keen the maximum space between you and him, as your relation gets stronger with him, the physical distance between you and him just shrinks. If anybody tries to break the borders of this circle, you just get nervous, so if you had ever noticed people in the elevator, as the space is so little, everybody just acts weird, like you see somebody looking at his watch, another just looking at the ceiling … .
The other day I was introduced to someone, I don’t know about his mentality, but every time he talks to me he gets (physically) closer, I just try to get away, and a long loop of this just starts to happen, after a little while I was very annoyed so I told him that his breath is killing me (it’s just to let him keep some space). In the end of the day I apologized for what happened and explained to him everything, for some reason I don’t understand I felt that he was more offended by what I say more than when I told him that breath thing. Can anybody explain?

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the b…

This is a saying by the great writer Jack London, I just really love it.

Jack London is one of those people who really influenced me in the beginning of my life, perhaps the only Novel I read for him was The Iron Heel translated in Arabic in the name of (العَقِب الحديدية). It was written in 1907, it discusses some events that Jack London predicts that would happen, it’s as some kind of story was found in after about 600 years from now, and then he starts reading it with commenting in it as it was really written in that age, the story begins in 1912, as to discuss the situation that lead to the Big Chicago Commune, which he predicts that this would be the first movement against the American Oligarch (which is type of an aggressive Capitalism) against the Labor.

This Story had really influenced me, as it was considered the Bible of the Socialism. That’s because of the discussions which were in the story, They were the best discussions I ever saw, I really recommend this story.

These days I’m looking for another books for this writer, I found some of the on the Internet, but now I have to find time to read them.

I hope you could read the story, in Arabic or in English, it is really a good one.