I was watching a movie the other day Paycheck, (I didn’t finish it yet, as My DVD Drive cannot handle using for more than 20 minutes, I’m going to buy a new one soon), In that movie, one of them got his memory erased for 2 months, and when he was asked that are you OK with that, he replied about what does he want to remember from the last 2 months, there was nothing worth remembering.
I started thinking, what do I want to remember from my last period of time, or exactly, what am I going to remember. I was at the office working, What else did I do? I guess nothing important.
When I go back in memory to remember things, I just get back to 2002, that was my golden age. Now from the moment I graduated (February 2004) tell now, what did I do other than finding a job, working, and resign.
Man, I really feel pity for my life, I’m kind of transforming into a machine, yes I have accomplished a lot in these 2 years, but is this what I want. Is my life based on work achievements?
Is work achievements things worth remembering, (in a place other than the interview room).
I just hope that something personal pops up in my life, in some way, as I cannot make it happen.
Category Archives: My Life
I’m sorry, I’m so Busy.
Well, what a week, I’ve never been this busy before, so sorry I didn’t post anything lately, and sorry for not replying all the emails I receive, and sorry for not answering all the calls.
Well truly I’m busy, and I’m not trying to avoid anyone … so please excuse me these days, I just have a million thing to do …
Ma3eesh Masary
Well, for a long time, I believed that the important thing is your work, your personality, and money always came in the second place, for me I believed it’s only a tool.
As from the last period, I found out, that I was mistaken, if you don’t have money, you are nothing, you are the amount of money you have.
You don’t have to pay money, you only just need to have them. In a situation you would be discussed to be accepted, another one (who has money) would be accepted without negotiation. I really hate these things, until lately I felt really discriminated by it, although I deserved a thing more than another one, the other was accepted (he really has a lot of money), maybe I cannot judge what really happened, but I felt it this way, it was really annoying to me.
I guess, I need to join Fight Club.
Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt at Fight Club):
Advertising has its taste in cars and clothes … working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.
We’re the middle children of history, man.
No purpose or place.
We have no Great War … no Great Depression.
Our Great War is a spiritual war.
Out Great Depression is our lives.
We’ve been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars.
But we won’t, We’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
Advertising has its taste in cars and clothes … working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.
We’re the middle children of history, man.
No purpose or place.
We have no Great War … no Great Depression.
Our Great War is a spiritual war.
Out Great Depression is our lives.
We’ve been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars.
But we won’t, We’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
Once I Had a Friend
Dear Ra’afat,
I know you won’t receive this letter, but I’m writing it to you anyway.
I know it’s been almost 3 months since you’ve gone, but your memory just cannot fade away, I almost cry every night for your loss, It’s really hard for me to imagine the world without you living in it.
Do you remember the night when we bought these, I’m keeping it close to my heart, well of course you remember, at that night we both knew that seeing each other would not be easy anymore, everyone of us has to take care of his business, and the business that both of us were in was ended, I remember your words that night, you told me that we should keep them as a memory of each other, in case we did not see each other again.
Do you remember the last night you were in my house, you came to me that night, and slept in my house, we spoke a lot that night, we spoke about a lot of personal stuff, I guess you still remember all of them. At that night, you kept listening to the song Hello, you’ve listened to it over and over again. Now every time I hear it, the tears just start to wash my eyes, I can’t hear it anymore.
Why?
Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave the world like this? What was the reason for your death? Is it because some moron wanted to kill people? Is it because you had to go to work that day? Is it because you needed money so much? Just why? Nobody gave me a good reason for it.
I still remember the moment when I heard the news, I remember I was in the street that moment, when Baha called me, and told me that you were gone, my legs could not hold me anymore, I remember that I fell in the street, with tears flooding of my eyes, I didn’t know what to do next, how I’m going to live, I still cannot figure the answer, I’ve tried to do a lot of things, but believe me, I’m still having troubles living, just who is going to wash my tears away …
And now the tears are still in my eyes, and nobody is going to wash them while you’re not here.
The other day Baha told me that we were a lot alike, we both don’t talk much, but when we are together we don’t stop talking.
I guess you still remember the song (be 3’orfeh z3’eereh), which both of us used to like it so much, I still listen to it, and I still love it, but after you’re gone, the words have a stronger meaning to me, as for me, it talks about you and me.
You are a martyr, and what difference that makes to me, for me it’s still that I lost you, it’s still that I wont see you again.
May your soul rest in peace,
Your Friend Forever,
Ala’a.
My Dearest Friends
Just a photo
2 Days @ Syria
I just had a good time, here is some of Our Pics
Love, Music & me
This is not a stupid article or something, will I guess this is not an article at all, It’s just something I’m thinking about.
Well how do I start? Ya, In my entire life I fell in love for 2 times, which were (if I could say) an impossible relation, for me every perfect girl (something like soul mate, but I don’t believe in soul mates) has to be an older girl, who has something makes it impossible for us to have a happy ending.
My first was with a girl who was 3 months older (not a big deal), but we were form different planets, like that I’m from Pluto, and she’s from Mercury, which should have end up (and it did) in a very little time, my second (My soul mate) we had everything in common, but she was 3 years older, and we couldn’t get over it so it didn’t last, and there was almost a 3rd, which I cut my mind off cause it (as i think) an impossible one, i guess shes older, and also have another religion (this thing just get my nerves off, the religion thing, that says no happy ending).
What I was getting to say is that all of this happened while music was in my way, I remember every time I fell to love I listened to too much Jazz(as usual), and also to Julia Botros, Bryan Adams, Bonjovi (which I refer to them as my old friends).
What I was thinking about yesterday, is why do I love Jazz that much, well of course because I love there music, the way the notes come, the freedom it gives, but after a deep thought there was something else more important, it is because it gives me something I really need, I usually don’t have, and if i have it, it gives me a lot more, it gives me love, Jazz so full of love, I feel jazz like a delicious wine, when you put a little in your mouth, you just want it to remain there cause it tastes so good you don’t want it to go to your stomach, but you also want all of your veins full of, so you swallow it, and take another, and that’s love.
I feel that music hasn’t left something of your life that didn’t get into it, but when it comes to love Jazz is the Master, I remember when my first relationship was ended I heard a track called After the Rain, It was the first time I hear that track and really feel it, I just couldn’t stop crying, and like that a lot.
For me now I’m alone, desperate, but I have Jazz with me.
Thanks for reaching here
Getting Sick
I really hate to get sick, but what I hate more than that is to take medicine or see a doctor, I really prefer to remain sick than that, so I never took a sick leave cause I never had a proof that I’ve been sick, which were my annual leaves come in handy, I really wish I could get rid of that habit. 🙂
The Open Window
Yesterday, I was so sick that I even couldn’t get out of my bed, I remember that the weather was so cold, I also remember that every time I woke up; I see this window that is slightly opened; and every time, I just want to go and close it, I really want that because the weather was so cold, and I felt that it (in some way) is responsible about me feeling that. In the end I just think (imagine) that I got off my bed and closed that stupid window. And when I wake up again, I see that the stupid window is still open; the first thing I think about is didn’t I close that window.
In the end when I physically closed that window, I realized at that moment that the only thing I badly wanted all day is to close that window, and I also realized that if someone wanted something so much, he would imagine that his wish came true, but it’s only a matter of time until he wakes up.
In The Memory of Ra’afat Al-Boreeny
The moment I heard the news of the bombing, I couldn’t imagine that in any chance I know any of the victims, The moment I heard that Ra’afat was there, I just couldn’t … I don’t know.
I remember the first time I saw Ra’afat, I thought he was bluffing that he cares a lot about people, after a while of knowing him, it turned that he really cares a lot … he was a very simple guy, who just want to live a natural life.
I just wish that all of this just didn’t happen, I just wish that he could come back again, I would be waiting for a phone from him to tell me that he would be coming to spend the night in my house … but I just know that this wont happen.
How simple your life could be when you don’t know what’s happening,
How miseries look simple when you don’t know you’re in them,
How painful a misery could be when it takes someone you love.
You would always be in our hearts
Ra’afat Al-Boreeny